"ISOLATED"

Isolated!.. this is the best word i can describe for myself!

why is it?! because I am this now.. I am not used to be but I am now..

with all the trauma's I have been through last year.. I have hard time to come out and really be out! I am glad I was out of that hell marraige but when I get out, I was totally different..

right now, my life only ivolves with house - work - store and that's it!

when I am home, I am always locked up inside my room and will only go out to use bathroom or grab a food.. I do this most often either my housemate is hom or not! well, when he is around the more I get myself ISOLATED! the past still hunts me - i am still scared to really get involve with a men and I don't think I can be with a Man again anymore?!

I don't have any social life anymore and it is pretty much boring but it is ok as long as I survived each struggle day of my life and I have this very wonderful loved job - i rather be isolated nor not having a social life rather be of nothing.. life is tough and i have to fight back and deal difficult circumstances...

it is not that nobody invites me for fun but everytime they invited me? i refuse to and just choose to stay here inside my room - be with my electronics stuffs and just let the time pass by till other day comes..

I tried not to be Isolated but I can't avoid it - I feel unfortable and unsafe if I won't Isolate myself. ugh!!!

anyways.. I know it takes time for me to really heal but I am walking through now..

only god knows what really in STORE for me in the Near Future?!